


The Adventures of Feral Alphinaud

by AltheaShepard



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alisaie and Krile know, Feral Alphinaud, Thancred was just concerned, somewhat of a crack fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27915772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltheaShepard/pseuds/AltheaShepard
Summary: Exactly as the title says.
Comments: 26
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation in Discord. Ya'll know who you are!

Alisaie recognizes that there are mere seconds to form a defensive strategy before chaos breaks loose. Sneaking by will only garner the attention she’s trying to avoid. Hiding behind Thancred isn’t an option as he’s on the front lines of this situation as the cause of it. Y’shtola would merely step aside and feed her to the wolves most likely and Urianger was currently being used as a chair by N’yx who looks equally as tired yet amused by the whole thing. She spares half a thought to dart forward and grab Tataru to shield her but that would throw her into disaster’s sight. Tataru and Krile are beside the desk anyway and it should serve as an appropriate shield for them. With all these factors taken into account, she decides her best option is to fall to the floor behind the planters with her arms over her head. 

A bare second later and there’s the sound of rapid meaty thumps, a shout of pain and surprise and quick feet turning sharply on the stone floor to stride upstairs.

Carefully, she raises her head from her hiding spot, catching the briefest look of Alphinaud’s retreating back. Thancred kneels on the floor, hands clutching his stomach and Tataru fretting over him. Krile merely winces in sympathy, shaking her head.

“I did try to warn you, Thancred,” she says.

Thancred just glares at her in disbelief, struggling to regain his ability to breathe.

“I don’t even know what happened!” The man cries, wincing immediately afterward. 

Knowing her brother as she does, the hit was likely to spawn a rather impressive bruise. 

“I’m assuming,” she says as she rises, directing her question to Krile, “that Thancred was being obnoxious immediately after Alphinaud tried to sit down with something to relax?”

Krile hums in agreement, urging Thancred to sit up enough that she could hover her hands over his abdomen, aether already curling around her fingers.

“He’d just sat down with a book and a cup of tea after he and N’yx gave their report to Tataru. Thancred thought it to be an ideal time to speak to him and Alphinaud, well, clearly thought differently.”

“I was only trying to make sure everything went alright!”

“It’s alright, Thancred. You don’t know the signs as well as Alisaie and I do,”

“What signs?!”

Alisaie chuckles as she crosses her arms.

“Normally, as you know, Alphinaud is rather calm and collected. However, if the circumstances align just right his patience will disappear as smoke on the wind and he’ll become rather… feral.”

N’yx chuckles at that, nuzzling into Urianger’s neck.

“He punched Estinien in the nose once. I think that’s the only reason Estinien started respecting him so much.”

Urianger glances down at her in surprise.

“I knew Alphinaud was capable of defending himself. Yet tis a surprise to see so...visceral a defense.”

Alisaie is the one to chuckle as Y’shtola nods in agreement.

“At the studium, Alphinaud was always teased by some of the older students for getting top marks and always having his nose stuck in a book. They tried it once with me and I put them in their place rather quickly. Alphinaud on the other hand is more likely to talk to people than throw a punch.”

“Didn’t he break his wrist the first time he broke one of their noses?” Krile asks, patting Thancred’s abdomen as the aether fades.

“He did. Grandfather decided then that he needed to learn how to properly throw a punch if he was going to physically defend himself.” 

“It was a rather impressive punch at that,” Thancred grumbles as he gets back to his feet. 

His ego is likely bruised but there’s a faint spark of curiosity in his eye.

“He’d be an absolute terror in melee combat were he not so inclined to his spell work.”

“Pray, how could either of you tell what was about to happen?” Y’shtola asks, glancing between Krile and Alisaie.

The two share a look, shaking their heads with a smile.

“If he beckons you to his level, that’s your primary sign. Another is how calmly he sets whatever he’s holding down. Though there have been occasions where he’s used what’s in his hands as a weapon.”

Alisaie shudders at the memory, making a face at Krile. Krile gives her a sympathetic look.

“You just had to remind me of that.”

“That’s how he managed to punch Estinien in the nose,” N’yx pipes up again.

“Just make sure that there’s nothing sharp within reach if it happens again and you’ll be perfectly fine. Would you care to get lunch, Alisaie?”

Krile pats Thancred on the arm before walking over to Alisaie. Despite the confused spluttering of the man, the two are quick to leave the Rising Stones, leaving the others wondering at the myriad questions still unanswered.

“What do they mean by something sharp?!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Feral Alphinaud!

Alisaie stares aghast. She’d been told but she honestly hadn’t believed it. It just wasn’t possible. Certainly upset occurred here and there but enough for this? Enough for broken bones and bruised egos? That was her schtick. Grandfather had long resigned himself to her more up front and personal way of dealing with things and now it appeared he’d have to deal with a potential disaster with Alphinaud too.

“You actually broke your bloody wrist?” 

Alphinaud, his face already burning, reddens further as the healer wraps a split around his wrist. There’s a bruise around his eye that’s already fading as the healing aether sinks into his skin but his wrist will take a few days to finish. Usually, their positions are reversed, her getting patched up and Alphinaud staring. Though, it’s normally in disappointment than incredulity. 

“So it appears,” Alphinaud says, struggling to retain his dignity.

“....Why?”

The red creeps into his ears. Krile pipes up at that point, looking equal parts amused, astounded and slightly fearful. Alisaie isn’t sure what she would be afraid of though.

“You remember how Donovan has been harassing Alphinaud since the exams last month?”

“I believe I threatened him the first time I heard it didn’t I?”

“You did. But it seems the threat wore off as Alphinaud and I were in the quad going over some notes and bandying theories back and forth when he came up, took the book and struck Alphinaud over the head with it.”

“He did what?!”

“Naturally his cronies were laughing the whole time as Alphinaud nursed his head but then Donovan went quite a bit further.”

Alisaie can feel her hackles rising, itching to turn heel and hunt the brash idiot down. Alphinaud was a prodigy, it wasn’t his fault that Donovan was a lump of useless Bahamut dung.

“What. Did he. Do?” She growls.

“He burned the book.” 

“....He did what?”

“He. Burned. The book.”

Alisaie imagines the look of offense on Krile’s face matches her own. Glancing at Alphinaud as the healer steps aside she can see the twist of his mouth and the furrow of his brows better. He’s angry at the reminder of the incident, an unfamiliar glint in his eye that Alisaie has been told resides in her own when riled.

“Him being upset with me is no reason to burn a book. He could have burned my notes! I have another copy in my room.”

“So…” Alisaie has to pause a moment. “So he burned the book and then you…”

The rage slips away as quick as it came, Alphinaud trying to duck into himself like a turtle.

“I… punched him in the pelvis,”

“The center of the pelvis,” Krile pipes in, looking a bit malicious.

“And I… punched him in the nose.”

“That’s when he broke his wrist.”

“And… then his friends dragged him before I could light his boots on fire.”

“That’s when one of the professors arrived and carted us here. Supposedly, your Grandfather will be spoken to and appropriate action taken but I suspect it shall be Donovan that receives the worst punishment.”

She has a few things to consider. On the one hand, she is proud of him. Alphinaud so rarely stands up for himself so to even hear about it is astounding in and of itself. But on the other hand, he isn’t built to physically defend himself so what made him think that it was a good idea?!

“I’m going to have to start dragging you to my lessons now,”

“What?!” Alphinaud jerks his head up in surprise. “Why?!”

“So that you can learn to throw a punch at someone without breaking your wrist again!”

“But I don’t get into hand to hand combat!”

“Clearly you do when you’re tested far enough!” 

She turns sharply on her heel, striding for the door.

“Alisaie, where are you going!”

“To speak with my teacher and intercept Grandfather before he gets to you.” 

She shuts the door before he can protest further, racing down the hall and out to the practice grounds. For years she’d suspected that he had more of a temper than he let on and now, apparently, it decided to prove her right. She just had to make sure he didn’t break himself the next time it broke free.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not only is he feral! He's a little petty and passive aggressive.

Over time, N’yx had come to like Alphinaud. In the beginning he’d been rather insufferable and his attitude made her ears pin back and her tail lash trying to resist the urge to hit him. After the Sultana and, perhaps because he’d been forced to admit to his age and that he didn’t know half the things he thought he did, she’d grown to be rather fond of. He’d learned how to be more reasonable, though he still held people to a higher standard than she thought some deserved, and more cautious in his actions and the people he trusted. The left hook he’d thrown at Estinien, catching the far taller elezen by surprise right in the nose had certainly raised her opinion of him. 

And now, as she watched him calmly sip his tea across the table, eyes just a touch too wide and pinned precisely on the roegadyn that started speaking as soon as Alphinaud tried to open his mouth, she was starting to wonder if the tea cup was about to hurled across the table to shatter against the roe’s forehead.

“Such is why… we… um…. Beggin’ your pardon, Master Alphi, did you want to say something?”

Would the saucer join it too?

“Oh no. Please continue. Do not let me interrupt.” 

Had he blinked in the last few minutes?

The man started talking again but now it seemed he was hyper aware of Alphinaud’s unflinching stare aimed directly at his face. And honestly, N’yx couldn’t really blame him for being nervous. Alphinaud kept a pleasant smile on his face the entire time, casually sipping his tea, eyes getting a teeny touch wider with every minute the man kept talking. 

“Are you quite sure you’ve nothing to jump in with?”

Now he blinked, looking almost comically offended as he reached for the teapot to refill his cup, still not moving his gaze from the man.

“Jump in with? Sir, that would be so very rude. No. I insist. Please. Continue.”

N’yx had to keep herself from laughing at the look on the man’s face as he hesitantly went back to speaking. Alphinaud, casual as you please, stirred a few sugar cubes into his cup, no other part of him moving once he’d placed the spoon down. 

“Master Alphi, if you’ve something to add, please. Feel free to jump in.”

Alphinaud let out a sigh, one of disappointment, regret and something else she could quite pinpoint.

“Sir. Please. I had always been taught it was rude to interrupt people when they are speaking. Please. Do finish what you were saying. I am more than willing to wait. My. Turn.” 

Carefully, looking very much like Alphinaud was about to leap across the table and scratch his eyes out, he went back to rambling. N’yx honestly thought Alphinaud very well might as the man kept talking and Alphinaud’s smile got wider and wider to match his eyes. Thankfully, he only lasted another minute before awkwardly clearing his throat and mumbling something about being done before he sat down. Alphinaud remained silent for a beat, two, three, before his smile grew a touch.

“Are you quite certain you’ve nothing more to add, Sir? Because I am sure no one here would like to interrupt if you are not finished.” 

N’yx spotted Aymeric hiding his smirk in his own cup though he couldn’t hide the glittering amusement in his eyes. 

“Quite… Quite sure, Master Alphi,” he clears his throat, “Master Alphinaud. Please. The floor is yours.” 

Alphinaud took his time getting to his feet, taking one more sip of his tea before carefully pushing his chair back to stand and finally break the hyper focused stare he’d had for the past several minutes. And blink. He finally blinked.

“If I may back the conversation up to a previous point…”

N’yx settled back in her seat, thoroughly amused. That little show would certainly keep her entertained through the rest of this boring meeting.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more way to start a fire.

Honestly, the most important thing was that her spine looked long enough. Proportionally speaking her torso looked to be the longest part of her which would make it much easier. And admittedly she'd seen part of her performance earlier when she'd managed to talk out of her mouth and her ass at the same time while keeping track of the bullshit she was polishing into a gemstone. Really, people like that made her long for a scalding hot bath and rough sponge to scour her skin clean of the filth. How long did they have to endure this? Granted, she was trying to reign herself in to save the others from what they called "damage control" but would it really be damage control? Or would it be a free show to see how far she could shove a hyur's head up their own ass?

She was just shifting herself into position as the woman _finally_ stopped talking when Alphinaud, apparently as fed up as her, nearly leapt to his feet and started gathering his cloak.

"Master Alphinaud!" She cries, jumping to her feet as well.

N'yx is a little slower, tail curling and ears twitching, feeling the pleased rumble just begging to roll forth sitting in her chest.

"The meeting isn't over!"

"Is that what you call a meeting?" Alphinaud stares at her, genuinely shocked.

"All I've heard for the past half bell is subtle insults tossed around about my fellow Scions and not so subtle bragging about whatever petty 'accomplishments' _you_ think you've achieved! Quite frankly I've had better conversation with Teledji Adeledji and _that_ was on the night he revealed how he'd turned the Crystal Braves against me!"

Oh. Oh he didn't. The Crystal Braves were practically _taboo_.

"I believe I can speak for my fellow Scions currently absent and," here he turned to her, head bowing briefly in respect, " the Warrior of Light _herself_ when I say that we shall have absolutely no business dealings with your _suppliers_ " that sneer had her shivering "now or in the future so long as they deign to count _you_ amongst their ranks!"

His turn is sharp enough to cut glass, the sheer loathing in his eyes so soul searingly hot she has to check to make sure the woman isn't smoking. 

"I'd wish you a good day, _madame_ , but quite honestly I hope a chamber pot is dumped on your head as you walk the streets back to that gaudy disgrace you call an office."

That may have been a better show than what she could have achieved. Quickly, she darts after him, unable to hold back the laughter once they're safely outside. Alphinaud stomps down the street, dodging through the crowd until they come to a little outcropping, Alphinaud bracing himself on the railing and breathing deep as he hangs his head. N'yx leans against the railing beside him, laughing into the sun.

"Well I'd say that's a damn sight better than what I would have done!" She cackles, tossing a grin at the boy.

Alphinaud sighs, slumping further. It only lasts a moment before he snaps up right so fast she's certain his spine cracks like a whip.

"I'm quite certain you missed it, and I'm happy if you did, but she had the absolute _nerve_ to mention how _wonderful_ it was that the Scions took in _strays_ ," there's the lip curl again, "while glancing rather pointedly at your ears. Not to mention her seeming relief that I had come for the discussion and not Tataru. Which certainly makes Tataru's reluctance for the meeting rather more clear."

Alphinaud huffs, scowl darkening. Her ear twitches, catching something over the din of the crowd.

"How could she think I wouldn't catch such things? Alisaie would have caught them and would have set her on fire!"

"I was debating seeing if I could shove her own head up her ass."

Alphinaud gives a rather ugly snort. There it is again. Closer this time. Surely not….

"Thancred I'm sure would have stabbed her. Or slipped--"

"Master Alphinaud!"

She did. Truly the woman had a death wish. And was ill adept at chasing people as she struggled to regain her breath for a moment. Alphinaud's fingers twitched towards his grimoire.

"Master Alphinaud, truly, I'm terribly sorry if I've insultes you. Please. If we could try again without any stray," oh she caught it that time, "influences I'm certain we can come to an agreeable arrangement." 

And now. Now the woman was certainly smoking. She hadn't noticed yet, giving Alphinaud that same too wide, too bright smile that must have seemed charming in the mirror. It started slipping as the smoke got thicker, as little embers started appearing at the hem of her tunic. As the first flame actually flared to life and a shriek peeled from the throat, N'yx did the sensible thing. She tossed her over the edge into the water. To put the fire out. Of course. 

She came up spluttering, shrieking something that made her ears hurt even so far up. Alphinaud leaned over the rail, delight so poorly masked on his face it was a wonder he even tried.

"My apologies, madame!" He called. "N'yxaela panicked!"

"Get me out!! Help me!!"

"Alas! I cannot swim! And N'yx has a rather severe aversion to water!"

She can't resist.

"Downfall of being a stray, m'um!"

"I'll summon the yellow jackets for you!"

"You brat!! You useless fucking brat!! Flea bitten stray!! I'll ruin you!!"

Turning away from her shrill, meaningless "threats", the pair turned from the railing and darted down the street again. Alphinaud, despite his ire, did actually stop to tell a yellow jacket. They just neglected to mention why she was in the water.

Later, when they recounted the tail to the others, Tataru managed to look horrified for all of five seconds before a gleefully vengeful grin took over her face. Normally, they'd be concerned but they were too busy delighting in the astonishment and amusement of the others to pay that much attention. 

And the extra slice of cake that night. Made the encounter all the sweeter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll can gleefully and enthusiastically thank Berylla and Red Five from the Bookclub for this beauty!

He'd been telling himself since they'd started traveling that he was fine. Everything was fine. Ishgard, while cold, was warming up to them. N'yx had earned more respect from the Temple Knights. Ysale was becoming less unbearable. And on very good days he could wake up in the morning and make it a whole hour before remembering why he was freezing his precious fingers and toes off in the first place. He could forget that people across Eorzea were probably cursing their names with every second breath. He could forget that the task they'd set themselves on was largely seen as foolish. And he could perhaps pretend that he was a mere traveler and not a falsely accused villain in some lunatics plot to overthrow Ul'dah and that he'd given an insane person free reign and resources to carry out the revenge plot he'd no doubt been planning for years!

...The crisp air certainly helped keep his head clear as he sat with his back against a small ridge, having brushed aside some snow on a boulder to sit while they rested for lunch. N'yx and Ysale were talking, their voices fading to the background as his fingers brushed lightly over the page of his grimoire. Distantly, he was aware his lips were moving, each exhale of breath lifting his words to a bare whisper. The ink on the page glittered in the pale sunlight, sharpening briefly as a shadow passed over him. A shadow that quite suddenly dumped a pile of snow over his head and onto the delicate pages. A jump, a mad scramble, the brief sizzling of ink and aether and snow combing and the pages burst into a bright multicolored plume of sparks, shooting high into the air before dissipating. A lovely sight to be sure. Horrifying in the aftermath.

The once pristine pages stared up at him, singed and distressingly blank. A few faint lines remained of the delicately drawn sigils, a word or two at the edges just barely legible. Restoring the pages as a whole would be an easy task albeit somewhat time consuming. It was one of the first things their grandfather had taught them after all. Many a spell caster had accidentally burned a grimoire, thus knowing how to repair it was an incredibly important skill.

But that reassurance was too logical, buried in the furthest corner of his mind to be plucked up and examined later. In its place sat only a slowly straining lock on a seething, writhing, hissing mass that, with a final tiny spark, snapped. Words may have been said, looking back he'd be certain of it. He may even recognize some of them. All he recognizes now, however, is the furrowed brow, dark armor and seemingly unrepentant gaze of his fiercest enemy. 

He's on his feet in a single leap, rushing forward and using his smaller size to his advantage. The fool is used to fighting larger opponents not smaller and thus isn't sure how to react to something running around his ankles. Certainly not used to the same small thing managing to dash around him quick enough to kick the back of one knee hard enough to make him stumble and drop a few crucial inches. He uses the momentum to plant his other foot in his back and  _ shove _ . The other stumbles forward, so surprised he has to catch himself on his hands lest he eat a face full of snow. He twists, one hand swiping upwards to block but the other's shock is no match for his own incandescent rage. 

To most, the grimoire looks thin and unimpressive. A starter book with room to expand as his skills and knowledge grow. But despite how thin the book is, despite how light he and Alisaie make it seem, it's still a ten pound tome aimed right at Estinien's face. 

The thud is heavy and solid against Estinien's gauntleted arm. An arm that pushes him away quickly. Far too quickly and far too easily. The book is pushed aside, tossed, rather, into the snow. Alphinaud's full weight comes down, tightly curled fist already flying forward to crunch against Estinien's unprotected nose. They both go down in a heap, Estinien sprawling on his back and blinking at the sky, no doubt wondering if what actually hit him was what actually hit him. Alphinaud stumbles as he slips during his landing, panting for breath and bracing himself with one hand on Estinien's chest. The other fist he slowly shakes out, knuckles red and angry and likely to bruise. Not that he really feels it. Not now. Instead, he turns his attention to scooping up his grimoire and quickly retaking his seat, flipping back open to the ruined pages to set about the task of repairing them.

  
  
  


It's the strangled, croaked squeak that catches her attention even so far away. It breaks through in a lull in conversation, pulling her head up in enough time to catch the sparks shooting out of the grimoire as Estinien strides a few steps away with an amused smirk.The sparks, lovely little things a small part whispers for her to  _ chase _ , fizzle out after only a few seconds. Alphinaud's jaw works, trying to say something but all he manages is another strangled squeak. Estinien's brow furrows, tone lacking the chuckles it would have no doubt had before thin trails of smoke started wafting up from the damaged pages.

"I did not know the book was so fragile. Forgi--"

Alphinaud is up and rushing forward in a blink, twisting around the startled dragoon and kicking his knees out from under him, planting his foot in his back to launch himself high enough into the air to bring the heavy book down towards Estinien's face. The crunch has her wincing in sympathy, Ysale's hand flying to her mouth with a gasp. Alphinaud stands as a triumphant warrior over a freshly fallen foe, shaking out his hand with a few quick flicks as he steps over the prone body and collects his grimoire. He retakes his seat as though naught were amiss, opening to the damaged pages and working aether around them to begin repairing them.

Slowly, carefully, Estinien props himself up on his elbows. The man looks like a chickabo just told him that his entire existence could be boiled down to the fact that he was a series of randomly firing neurons in a soup of spicy meat juice contained by a series of tubes and muscle over a calcium rich frame inside of an unprocessed leather satchel and he wasn't sure how to process that. As their eyes met over the short distance, N'yx was careful to keep her glee off her lips even as she raised a hand to slowly circle her nose.

"You uh… you might be bleeding a bit, Estinien. Just," another slow circle, "just there." 

Carefully, Estinien brings a hand to his face, wincing when cold metal touches his swelling nose. They come away red from his bleeding nose. He's up and moving in a blink, ears burning as he rushes back to the small stream near their camp site. They watch him go, trading glances after a moment or two. It only takes a moment before they're both dissolving into laughter. Ysale is far more composed, giggling behind a hand as N'yx gives zero fucks and falls over outright, clutching her stomach. The laughter lasts long through the day, the pair of them only having to trade a glance before they're snorting again. Estinien resolutely keeps yalms in front of them, Alphinaud towards the rear. Nothing more is said about it even as the bruising blossoms and fades by morning. 

  
  
  


Estinien doesn't try to poke at Alphinaud very much after that.


End file.
